3 Surprising Sexual Insecurities That Most Men Have, But Don’t Express

Pfizer, the company that makes Viagra, did a survey in 2000 that found 59 per cent of Italian men were insecure about their sexual performance and 43 per cent admitted to sexual difficulties.

The results made headlines worldwide because Italian men are lauded for their virility, swaggering arrogance and enormous sexual egos.

Turned out, in reality, they’re sexual scaredy-cats, just like the rest of us.

Related Post: 7 Not So Obvious Tips for Better Sex

Fifteen years later, I’m constantly surprised by how many women still seem to believe men (Italian or otherwise) are sexual studs – up for it with whoever, whenever, regardless of whether they’ve just finished a marathon, have one last dying breath or their team’s about to score the winning goal.


It simply isn’t true!

Men can be just as vulnerable as we are and feel just as nervous and anxious about performing in bed as women do.

For instance…

1. The more he wants sex to be great, the more he might avoid it
If you have something men find intimidating – big, bouncy breasts, a face identical to an ex-girlfriend he can’t quite get over, a job that earns twice what his pays, or legs that seem far too beautiful to wrap around his paunchy tummy – you may experience the opposite problem to what is common perception.

Rather than fighting off his advances, you may have to be the one to make them. I’m not talking a one-night-stand – hell, he’ll be ripping that dress off the second you’re in the front door.

But I honestly do think sex that means something to him, that might lead to a relationship, can be more daunting for him than it is you.

Why?

Well, his first worry is if his penis is big enough. It’s out there remember, not coyly hidden like our parts.

Then there’s the worry of said penis maybe not working when he most, desperately, needs it to.

Again, we can fake excitement, he can’t.

Or maybe it will work but too well and it’s over too quickly.

He might be able to fake an orgasm but you can’t fake an erection after you’ve just had one.

And all that’s before he’s had time to worry about what’s going on with you and your bits.

Say he rubs the wrong bit and you think he’s an idiot?

Tracey says that many men see rejecting sex is as unmanly but it simply isn’t true.
Because it’s not like he can ask for directions now is it?

He’s a bloke! Which leads me onto my next point…

He’s counting on you to (discreetly) take charge

2. He won’t want to admit it but he’s depending on you to take charge – a little.
He wants directions and wants to give you pleasure but he doesn’t want to ask for fear of looking stupid.

This isn’t just a male thing, by the way, women are just as guilty as men are for thinking we’re somehow born great lovers.

But society also casts men in the ‘boss’ role.

Again, intellectually, we both know that got thrown out along with him being the sole breadwinner, but it’s still hovering in the background, waiting to step forward when he feels under pressure.

This is why a sensitively timed and well put instruction (‘That feels fantastic,’ before you put your hand over his to show him how you really like it done) will be appreciated more than you’ll ever know.