How To Wake Up Your Partner Sexually With Morning Sex

Morning sex, you say? Here's a list of all of the anxieties that just entered my mind: "It's pre-teeth cleaning," "My hair is likely matted into a pseudo-crown atop my had," "Hello raccoon eyes with a side of eye boogers," and also, "I'm grumpy."


I've never opened my eyes and taken a "woke up like dis" selfie, but I'm moderately certain that I look like Steve Bannon after a good seven hours of shoving my face into my pillow. For me, the joy of morning sex is rivaled by the fear of being the grossest girl in all the land. What if I start figuring out how to wake up my partner sexually only to get a "no thanks, your hair is reminding me of a dust ball right now"?

Well, I'd probably need an extra therapy session that week, but here's the thing: That scenario is not going to happen. First of all, no one is that brutally honest. Additionally, logic would say that if a person is already in bed with you, had sex with you within the previous 24 hours, and stayed until morning, they're probably going to give you a hard "yes" to doing it again.

To assuage my paranoia (and yours, too), I spoke to clinical sexologist Dr. Dawn Michael for some advice on how to initiate morning sex with a partner.

START SMALL AND FEEL YOUR PARTNER OUT

That's right, I just made a double entendre. While it's more likely that you are going to get a "yes please" to a sexual proposition than you are to have a traffic-less commute on any given morning, consent is important. Your partner may decide they just are not in the mood, and that's their right because you are a good person who is not interested in rape.

Dr. Michael says that if you want to put on the moves, the best thing to do is start with small touches: "Reach over and touch your partner, snuggle up to them and kiss the back of their neck or rub the small of their back." This seems very doable, even for lily livers like me. Also, I trust doctors. Start small. If your partner winces away, try again next time. If they lean in, grab a condom. (#safetyfirst)

SLEEP COMMANDO

This is also super simple. After all, if you wake up naked, you're one step closer to consummation than had you woken up in your old college T-shirt and weird, hole-ridden shorts. (Because let's be real, I own a Mad Men-esque nightie and I've worn it a total of zero times.)

"When I suggest morning sex to clients, I will also add in sleeping in the nude," explains Dr. Michael. "It is very sexy to wake up in the morning touching your naked skin with your partner's naked skin."

Honestly, I'm a little aroused just thinking about naked morning skin touching. Nakie-sleeping is a great way to suggest morning sex to your partner with very little effort.

REMIND THEM THAT IT'S HEALTHY

Forget a glass of water with lemon first thing — tell your partner the new health trend is morning sex, and see if they oblige.

Maybe your partner is equally-matted down in the hair department and needs a thorough shower before a long day at work. As they grumble and begin to shoo you away, remind them that having sex before work is actually healthy for you. It's also just a really great time to have quality sex, and who doesn't want quality sex?

"A man's testosterone levels are highest in the morning and then decrease as the day continues," explains Dr. Michael. Even if there is no testosterone in your particular partnership, both people may be tired at the end of the day, which can create a lack of desire to do it then.

"Roll over and take advantage of the closeness that is already there, and release all of the hormones that come from an orgasm and let it make for a great start of the day," says Dr. Michael. She also says evening sex is overrated — again, a doctor, ladies. Talk about wellness.

LET THEM KNOW THEY'LL BE ON YOUR MIND ALL DAY

Another perk to morning sex is that you'll be on your partner's mind all day, and they'll be on yours. This may seem manipulative, but why not initiate morning sex by asking your boo, "Do you want me to think about you all day?"

"[Morning sex] leaves both people feeling good, enjoying the closeness and pleasures of sex," explains Dr. Michael. It's a secret, magical moment you both took part in that no one else has to know about. In the ever-applicable words of Paris Hilton, "That's hot."

So between your naked body in the flesh, a little touching, and some helpful reminders that sex is healthy, hopefully you are feeling a little more confident asking your partner about getting it on at dawn.

If all of the above fail, just "accidentally" throw some porn on your iPhone and see what happens. Just sayin'.