Maybe you’ve heard of rimming, aka analingus, which is when a partner uses their tongue to stimulate someone’s anus. But have you been wanting to try, only to stop yourself from actually going for it? “Rimming can be a really amazing and intense experience,” says Erika Lust, the feminist erotic filmmaker and all-around badass. “There is nothing gross, abnormal, or unsafe about it if you do it right. We hold so much shame about certain body parts, including our butt, but there is absolutely no reason to. Just relax and enjoy it.” So if you’ve wanted to give rim jobs a go, now’s your chance!
1
The Rim Shot
Easy, basic positions work well for first-timers. Get yourselves showered up, then the receiver lies back with their knees bent up toward their chest. “This position still gives the giving partner easy access to the receiver’s breasts and clitoris—or with a male butt, access to the penis and testicles—for stimulation fun,” says Kenneth Play, sex coach and genius of sex hacks. “If you want to use a barrier for your rimming but don’t have a dental dam handy, a quick sex hack is to grab some plastic wrap to use instead.”
2
The Private Tour
“A nice position for beginners is to lie down on your stomach,” says Lust. “Enjoying anal play is often all about being able to relax, and this is one of the most comfortable positions for the receiver. It can help also to put a pillow under your hips to raise your butt slightly. Plus, you can always use your free hands to pleasure yourself at the same time.”
3
The Deep Sea Diver
“It can be a really hot introduction to take a shower together and start practicing some rimming while you’re in there,” says Lust. “For beginners, I recommend doing a simple standing position. The receiver can stand up, holding on to the wall if they need to, and the other person can crouch down behind them. I recommend this for people who feel self-conscious or worry that it’s not hygienic or clean.”
4
The Bend and Tap
One person stands on the floor and bends over a bed, the other kneels behind them. Easy, sexy, ergonomic. “Standing and bending over can feel more comfortable for some folks, or it can feel more exposed and vulnerable, which can be exciting. It also lends itself well to sensual spanking, etc.,” says sex and relationship coach Charlie Glickman. “Experiment with how far apart you spread your legs to find the most comfortable spot.”
5
The Rainy Trumpet
Some finger foreplay to rimming never hurt, right? “I get connected with some caressing and washing, then I make my finger a little soapy and move in concentric circles toward the anus, making sure to get into the crevices and ridges around the entrance,” says Play. “You can also move your finger a little bit inside the actual hole. I also sometimes do a little finger play here too, which is great if you think you’ll be moving from rimming to anal penetration later on.” Enhance the rim job with something up front—a waterproof toy, well-aimed showerhead, or hand.
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