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Tuesday, May 7, 2019

VICHEKESHO VIPYA VINAVYOTAMBA KATIKA MTANDAO WA WHATSAPP

ANDIKA KWA UDOGO
Mwalimu:Lori la mawe limewekwa speed gavana.
Mwanafunzi: pick up ya kokoto imewekwa speed seneta.
 Hapo ndipo mwalimu anasema heri babako angebet na fee yako
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ 
                   
MWANAMKE NI NANI?
Mwanamke ni yule anaefatiliwa na Wanaume asiowajua lakini hatoi taarifa Polisi                     

AKILI ZA BANGI
Ushawahi vuta bangi alafu unarudi nyumbani unamwangalia baba yako Mzazi kama dk 10 hv then unamuuliza hivi bro nishakuonaga wapi vile?
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ 
                   
PALE UNAPOAZIMA SIMU NA KUKOSA WA KUCHAT NAYE
Kama hamchat semeni nipeleke simu ya watu 

MADHARA YA KUKOSA HELA
Hivi Ushawahi Kuamka Asubuh Huna Hata Mia Umepigika Ile Mbaya Kiasi Kwamba Hata Ukiona Kuku Wawili Wamesimama Unahisi Wanakusema.

AKILI ZA WAUZA BUCHA
AKILI ZA WENYE BUCHA BHANA WANAZIJUA WENYEWE. MFUPA ALIOUKATA YEYE KWA SHOKA ANATAKA MIMI NIKAUTAFUNE KWA MENO πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸƒ 
                   
MAMBO YA KUOMBA VYUO
Kama una ndugu yako aliyeomba chuo na hajaona jina lake IFM basi mwambie aangalie ITV.
                   
HAPANA CHEZEA WAKE WANNE
Mume: Niandalie mkeka niswali
Mke: Dini inasema uswali msikitini
Mume: Dini inasema nioe wake wa4
Mke: Nikuwekee Chumbani au Sebuleni?
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚                     

NJE YA NDOA
Wapendwa samahani naomba msaada
*ukitaka kwenda nje ya ndoa unapanda gari za kwenda wapi?* nimefika nzega saizπŸ˜”

KILICHOIPONZA TIMU YA WATOTO ZAMBIA                   
Journalist: How do u feel after scoring the winning goal which put ur team through to the quarter finals?
Player: Am very happy & l dedicate the goal to my wife & 3 kids, l know they're watching. Love u guys.πŸ€—
😐
This was how Zambia U-17 team was disqualified from the tournament in Rwanda.🀦🏾‍♂
Under-17 player married with 3 kids πŸ™„
I love Africa!☺                     

WADADA NA NDOA
Wadada Wakiwa na Miaka 25 Kushuka Chini Wanataka Kuolewa na Wanaume na Wenye Prado, BMW, Vogue etc......
Akifikisha Miaka 30 Anataka Chochote Kinachonguruma Hata Kama Ni Tumbo..
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

BAE NA BOO
Bae:baby leo nimeona iphone8 kwenye duka la simu mjini, ni nzuri😍

Boo: vipi umeipendaπŸ€”

Bae: nimeipenda sana mpenzi wangu😍

Boo: usijali kesho nitakupa nauli ukaiangalie tenaπŸ˜…

KIJIJINI BANA

Maisha ya kijijini noma sana unakweda kuoga  unagundua umesahau sabuni unakwenda kufata sabuni unaludi bafuni unakuta ng'ombe kanywa maji yote πŸ˜‚ unaamua kufata maji mengine unarudi bafuni unakuta mbuzi kesha kula sabuni πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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