WATUMIE MARAFIKI SMS HIZI WACHEKE

mtoto anajipaka mate kichwani akamuuliza kwanini unajipaka mate kichwani ??mtoto akajibu: haviingii.....mwalimu: sasa ndio ujipake mate? mtoto...:namsikiaga mama usiku kama haiingii paka mate itaingia .ndio na mimi nimeamua kupaka mate vitaingia tu.


Wajua majina hatari ya mawaziri yanayotia fora duniani!! DAVID KINEMBE(MIUNDO MBINU KENYA), JAMES KAKUMA(BIASHARA ZAMBIA), AKAJA AKATOMBA(NISHATI GHANA), NALIA NA MBOO (SHERIA BOTSWANA), ANTONIE CHIPUMBU(FEDHA MSUMBIJI), CHILAMBO KAFILWA (MAZINGIRA MALAWI), ROSE KAMKUNDU(KILIMO ZIMBABWE), JACQULINE NATOMBEKA(UTAMADUNI SOUTH A) KAZUKU FILA FISI(MIPANGO JAPANI), CLAIRE NITOMBENI(NISHATI LESOTHO)

Mwanamke alimkuta mumewe ameuroweka ........ wakekwenye beseni la maji,mwanamke akamuuliza mumewe vipi imekuaje,mume akajibu nauangalia kama una pancha maana hausimami. hahahaaa..!!

Jamaa mmoja alikuwa anakojoa kichakani, NYUKI akamng'ata kwenye kichwa cha ......... na Ikavimba kweli kweli! Alipofika kwake, MKEWE akawa anamtoa mwiba huku akisali kimoyo moyo "MUNGU naomba Muondolee mamumivu mume wangu, ila .......... ibaki saizi hii hii!


An old masai man was struggling a bit with english in abroad. He enters a restaurant and wants to order chicken but he can't remember what is chicken in english. So he sees one guy at a table next to him with a plate of 4 eggs on it. The old man points to the plate of eggs and says to the waiter, "i want their mother!" i'm hungry

Ng'ombe kaulizwa mbona ukitoka kukamuliwa unanuna? Ng'ombe akajibu:-huyu binadamu cjui msenge? Kila cku ananichezea maziwa lakini hani........


Jamani kama tuwajuavyo ndugu zetu akina Masawe,Shirima, (wachaga) kwa pesa walivyo sa siku1 mangi mmja hoi bin taaban kufikishwa hospital dk. Kashauri afanyiwe upasuaji akapelekwa thieta dk akamdunga sindano ya ganzi akaanza kumpasua wakati anaendele kwa bahati akadondosha mkasi mangi akastuka fasta huku akisema arooo dokta em nitazamie pesa yangu hapo chini! Bila jua kua ni mkasi.


Mwalimu mmoja alikuwa anafundisha darasani, wakati anafundisha kwa bahati mbaya akajamba! Basi wanafunzi wote wakaziba pua na kuanza kucheka, ndo mwalimu akaona ni aibu bora aombe likizo ya mwezi mzima ili wanafunzi wawe wamesahau. Mwezi ulipoisha akarudi na kuingia darasani,akawauliza wanafunzi,"Tuliishia wapi?" Wanafunzi:"Tuliishia pale ulipo jamba". Basi mwalimu akapigwa na butwaa na akaamua kuacha kazi jumla.

Jamaa mmoja alipenda mtoto wake awe docta akaamua kumnunulia vitabu vya science pamoja nachakula cha kutosha akamfungia ndani...baada ya siku kadhaa akmwambia umeelewa nn mwanangu kwenye hivi vitabu?mtoto akamwambia baba nilichogundua ni kwamba hiv vitabu havijaandikwa kwa mkono,vimeandikwa na mashine..Baba akabaki hoi kws asira.

Mke mmoja alimpa mme wake redio aende nayo chooni ili asiboreke kwa vile huwa anakaa muda mrefu. Basi alvyotoka akamuuliza,''ehe mme wangu ulienjoy?".
Mme,"ah wajinga hawa! Wameniwekea wimbo wa taifa,nimejisaidia huku nimesimama".


Devi: Mpenzi, najua mimi sina pesa, wala magari wala majumba ya kifahari kama rafiki yangu John, lakini mimi nakupenda kwa dhati toka uvunguni mwa moyo wangu
Mupenzi;(akiongea kwa sauti ya mapenzi ya hali ya juu), Kama unanipenda kweli darling, nitambulishe rafiki yako John



Mdada kaenda Salasala kumtembelea Mkaka. Alipofika kwa mkaka akaingia chumbani kwa mkaka na kwa mapenzi akamwambia
Mdada: Mpenzi, naomba shilingi alfu kumi na tano nilipie taxi niliyokuja nayo. Mkaka kaingiza mkono mfukoni kutoa pesa ghafla akashtuka!!!
Mkaka: Unasema umekuja na Taxi? Mbona umevaa helmet ya Bodaboda?