What to Do When She’s on Top During Sex

There’s a reason why cowgirl is one of guys’ all-time favorite sex positions, and it’s not just because it provides a spectacular view from below. When a woman’s on top, she can take full control of the rhythm and speed of sex — which may just help you last longer in bed.

Sure, your job gets a lot easier when a woman climbs on top of you during sex, but that doesn’t mean you can just sit back and relax. In the video below, Indiana University professor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, explains how you can lend a helping hand to make this sex position even more fun for both of you. Here are her 4 top tips.

1. Lend a Hand
Since it’s harder for your partner to see where everything is, “You can help guide your penis into her vagina, and at the very least, if you’re using a condom, hold the base to make sure that it stays on,” Herbenick says. (Yes, guys, you should be using a condom. If you think they don’t feel good, you’re probably not wearing the right one.)

2. Let Her Know How Much You're Loving It
"While she’s on top, also look at her like you’re really enjoying what you’re seeing, and in your own words, tell her that she is hot, or beautiful, or sexy, or however you want to put it," Herbenick says.

For more tips on what you should (and shouldn’t) be saying before, during, and after sex, click here.

3. Help Set the Pace
The two of you may like it when she takes the reins and sets the pace herself. But if you want a more collaborative experience, you can “use your hands around her hips or her torso to help guide her to a pace and rhythm that feel good for you,” Herbenick says. As you guide her, make sure she’s comfortable — you don’t want to end up jerking her up and down like a jackhammer.

4. Prioritize Her Pleasure
“If woman on top is a position that gets her off, then make sure to spend enough time doing what feels good to her so that she also has her orgasm,” Herbenick says.

Here’s an idea from our list of the :

“To increase clitoral contact when a woman’s on top, make a V with two fingers, and place it so the point of the V (just between the two knuckles) is directly over her clitoris. Your fingers should come down on either side of your penis as she rides you. This will stimulate the clitoris, inner labia, and urethra — as well as add intensity for you.”